Love and Sadness
by Sango5
Summary: (Song fic--my first) This is after the Shikon no Tama has been completed and properly destroyed so no one can use it. The gang went their separate ways. And this leaves Miroku and Sango feeling empty and alone. Drama-Angst-Tragedy.


Love and Sadness  
(A collection of song fics)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any other copyrighted materials mentioned in this fic.  
  
Storyline: This is after the Shikon no Tama has been completed and properly destroyed so no one can use it. The gang went their seperate ways. And this leaves Miroku and Sango feeling empty and alone. Drama/Angst/Tragedy.  
  
Song: Come What May, from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack.  
  
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Never knew I could feel like this, Like I've never seen the sky before, Want to vanish inside your kiss, Every day I love you more and more.  
  
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It had been about a month since Sango had seen any of her old friends. She was living in an isolated village, protecting the villagers from attacking demons. Her job--though she worked for no charge--was the only thing she got up for every morning. She missed the familiar, though obnoxious, hand on her bottom; she missed the monk's laugh; his smile; hell, she missed HIM. She would sit up, night after night, remembering the times they had shared.  
  
One night, she thought about what would happen if somehow, in some unknown realm, Miroku came to visit. She would tell him how she felt; that she loved him with all her heart and she would willingly bear his children. It brought a forgotten smile to her face as she fell asleep.  
  
The next morning, Sango woke right up, grabbing frantically around her bed. She had the reoccuring dream that Miroku had come to her during the night. Realizing it was infact just a dream, Sango laid on her side and curled in a ball.  
  
Her thoughts, depsite how hard she tried, kept returning to a fuzzy memory. The last memory she had of Miroku. They were saying their goodbyes and something about Miroku was different. He wasn't himself. He seemed happy, but his eyes betrayed him and burned with an inner sadness. The last thing he said to Sango was "Be happy" and he kissed her on the cheek. After that he turned and left, going in the direction of his home town.  
  
The sun began rising and the depressed life form, with not the slightest change in emotion, got out of bed and dressed. The villagers smiled and waved as she walked through the lively town. She dragged her feet and kept her eyes on the ground, dragging her heavy boomerang behind her.  
  
She only fought off a small rat demon that day, it wasn't even worth her to have woken up. She went to the doctor for her daily medication; she had been bitten by a poisonous misquito demon a week ago and needed a daily dose of antibiotics for two more days.  
  
The doctor, Dr. Katsuya, was a tall man, with gray hair and a moustache; he was like a father to Sango. When she came in with the expected countanence of a grieving woman, the doctor said nothing.  
  
Though he was concerned, he knew what was wrong. Sango had explained it time and time again. But today was different, the doctor had a surprise for Sango.  
  
He handed her a pamphlet.  
  
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Listen to my heart, Can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything.  
  
Seasons may change, winter to spring, But I love you until the end of time. Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day.  
  
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Every day since their seperation, Miroku had felt like something in him was missing. And there was something missing. A pretty black-haired young lady, who had always been there for him before.  
  
His master instructed that--to cleanse his thoughts--he was to meditate under the waterfall any time he felt too strongly about Sango. If he did that, he would have been under the waterfall every hour of every day, but he settled with 6-8 times a week.  
  
Miroku tried desperately to forget her, knowing that seeing her ever again would never be possible. He tried burying himself in his work, or his studies; he even tried to forget her by courting other women. But his attempts to forget his one true love were futile.  
  
Day after day dragged by and the monk was becoming restless. He had to just see her, blurry memories of her weren't enough.  
  
One night, as Miroku and his master were eating dinner, Miroku slammed his hand down on the table. "I have to see her! Let me go to her," he begged.  
  
"It is against everything you've trained for your whole life," he reminded.  
  
"I don't care about that!" he stood up, "I-... I love her." He was telling himself more than anyone.  
  
This was the first time, in all Miroku's life, that his foster parent had heard him speak of women as more than a mere object. Maybe he did love her. But then again, he was a lecher, "She must be very pretty."  
  
Miroku's voice dropped to a dreamy tone, "She is... and she's strong, funny, independant, loyal, loving, and-... and I have to see her."  
  
He swallowed a bite of rice, "It's against a monk's vow to be with a woman."  
  
"No where does it say I can't love one," Miroku retorted.  
  
"But you and I both know what would happen if you went to her," he chuckled.  
  
"No, she wouldn't have it. I just need to see her and that would be enough. If only I would have realized my feelings for her sooner..." Miroku drooped his head, sulking.  
  
His master shook his head, "If you would have realized it sooner and took action, you would have to give up being a monk."  
  
"I would do that for her," Miroku looked at his master, his eyes pleading to let him go.  
  
"The answers remains. No," he said harshly. "Now, finish your dinner."  
  
Miroku's face lost all it's happiness and cheer at that moment; before there was hope, now there remained idle dreams of something that would haunt him forever. He became a man hollow of any real emotion. His once lively and joyous smile became a depressing and lonely frown. And yet, his master had to stick with his choice, it was for Miroku's best interest.  
  
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Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place, Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace, Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste, It all revolves around you.  
  
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Sango rode on Kilala, the cat demon flying as fast as her fire feet would carry her. Sango was headed in the direction of Miroku's home town. Tears of happiness streamed down her cheeks.  
  
Earlier, the doctor had given her a pamphlet which read:  
  
--Skilled Demon Exterminator for Hire  
Will work for little pay.--  
  
And the doctor said he would be willing to pay, if Sango really wanted to go see Miroku. Sango wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, thanking him profusely. She went and packed her yukata and a days worth of food.  
  
Now, she was on her way. She was nervous, anxious, happy, and scared at the same time; a sea of mixed emotions swam through her.  
  
She stopped one time, in a village; she ate and rested. She was back on the road again. She walked for a few miles, allowing Kilala to rest.  
  
It was dark when she got there. She stood outside for over an hour, staring at the door and walking up to then backing away. Doubts surrounded her every thought, haunting her. What if he already had another girl? What if he laughs when I tell him I love him? What if he doesn't even want to see me? What if-  
  
She heard yelling inside, though incoherent she knew it was the monk. She had to remember to breathe; she shook with anticipation; she felt her eyes water at the sound of his voice, how she had longed to here him.  
  
She front door slid open, the man in the doorway not facing outside. She knew it was Miroku. She opened her mouth to call to him, but her words were stuck in her throat.  
  
"I'm going! And you can't stop me!" Miroku yelled back inside. He slammed the door behind him and walked away from the door. Sango could see him just fine, since her eyes had adjusted to the darkness long ago. But Miroku was walking blindly, and he was headed towards her. He walked right into her, jumping back and holding his staff up threateningly, "Who's there?"  
  
"Me," was all she could manage to say.  
  
He dropped his staff, the rings jungling when they hit the earth. "S- ... Sango?" his heart was pounding and his mind yelled that it wasn't possible.  
  
"Miroku," she threw her arms around him, holding him closely to her, not ever planning on letting go.  
  
He couldn't talk, there were no words for how happy he was. If he could have gotten him arms free from the women hugging him, he would have pinched himself to make sure it wasn't a dream. He gasped for breath, she was squeezing him so tight he couldn't inhale.  
  
"Sango," he choked out. She loosened her grip and he released one of his arms from her powerful hug.  
  
He wrapped his free arm around her, kissing her head profusely. He blinked, trying to hold back tears of happiness. He nuzzled his cheek against hers, he noticed the moisture--she had been crying, too. He kissed her cheeks, drying her tears. He eventually found his way to her mouth and kissed her with a heated passion. She kissed him back with an opposing force.  
  
Pulling away to look at her, now that his eyes were adjusted, he smiled. "You're as beautiful as I remember," he whispered.  
  
She felt the familiar hand caress her rear, "And you're as perverted as I remember." She didn't hit him, only because it would have ruined the moment--but he would pay for it later.  
  
"Why did you come?" he asked.  
  
Her heart sunk and she bit he lower lip, "Did you not want me here?"  
  
He mentally kicked himself, "No, that's not what I meant... I meant, what made you decide to come?"  
  
"I had to see you," she stared into his brown eyes, hoping he understood what she was trying to say.  
  
"I had to see you, too. That's why I was leaving," he gestured with his head toward the house he had left a few minutes earlier.  
  
"Your master didn't want you to see me?" she glanced away nervously. "Why?"  
  
"It's a long, complicated story. I'll explain later. But first, we need to sneak you inside," he grinned. "Go around back and I'll open my window."  
  
Sango laughed, they were like teenagers avoiding their parents. She clung to Miroku's clothes as long as she could until he walked away.  
  
She walked around back and waited several minutes. Then there was a slam and she saw his open window further down. She walked over and struggled but succeeded in getting inside. She sat on his bed--which was nothing more than a mat.  
  
"Miroku," Sango started nervously, "I meant to tell you a while ago... I-... I l-l.. I lo-..." her cheeks flushed and she stared at the ground.  
  
He sat next to her, placing his hand on her cheek and turning her to face him. He looked in her eyes and smiled, knowing exactly what she was trying to say, "Me too."  
  
The night belonged to them, and they used it to their best interest. The shared a night of love and an undying need to be near one another. The night was filled with unrestrained passions, heated moments, and loving words. They both had never felt so complete as they did that night.  
  
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And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide, Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side, Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide,  
  
But I love you, (I love you,) till the end, (until the end,) of time.  
  
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Though neither one knew it, the next morning, Sango was carrying Miroku's child.  
  
Miroku was no longer an 'official' monk. His master never told him that many monks have wives, or break their vows and can still remain holy by a religious law.  
  
Over the next few months Sango noticed herself gaining weight. She was worried she was pregnant, and she had to know for sure. She told Miroku she was going to visit the town she once lived at, and he agreed with not the slightest suspicion.  
  
"Love you," he kissed her forehead.  
  
"Love you more," she kissed him back and hugged him. She turned and left.  
  
She was at the village in two days, happy to see the demon exterminator they hired was indeed skilled. She went to visit her doctor, more than happy that she'd get to tell him how her life was going.  
  
She walked in the small hut and quickly scanned the place. "Excuse me," she asked a nurse, "where's Dr. Katsuya?"  
  
The nurse's face dropped, "You didn't hear?"  
  
"Hear what? I've been gone for six months," Sango explained.  
  
"He passed away... about a month ago," the nurse bowed her head. "God rest his soul," she looked up to see Sango with a bewildered expression. "I'm sorry," she rested a comforting hand on Sango's shoulder.  
  
"I... I never got to thank him enough," tears escaped her eyelids and she quickly wiped them away. "I'm bearing the child of the man I love, and I only have him to thank... But I'll never get to tell him that," she sniffled and blinked back tears. She used her sleeve to dry her tears, and put on a fake smile. "I need a pregnancy test."  
  
The test results were positive. And Sango returned home.  
  
Something wasn't right when she got back. She felt a demonic aura in the area, but Miroku would have fought it off... What was going on here?  
  
She walked cautiously into the house. Kilala was on her heels, growling at the scent of blood. She walked into the main room and gasped. There was a disgusting site of a vicous battle. Miroku's master was lying on the floor, barely breathing, with holy scrolls plastered on him. Sango surveyed the rest of the room, and nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.  
  
Sitting in the corner, covered in blood, holding his side with one hand, and gasping for air, was Miroku.  
  
She ran over to him, kneeled down beside him and took hold of his free hand. "Miroku, Miroku, open your eyes," she begged, her cheeks drenched with tears.  
  
His eyes opened slowly, half way, and he smiled the best he could. "The old man... was possessed..." he cringed with pain.  
  
"Don't talk," she instructed, seeing as talking brought him pain. "I have to get you to a doctor," she sobbed.  
  
He squeezed her hand, "What's the point?" His voice was hoarse.  
  
"If I hadn't left you wouln't have-"  
  
"Stop... blaming yourself... If you were here..." he winced and went on, "...you would have been injured, too."  
  
"No, no, Miroku..." she held his hand tightly. "I guess now is good enough time as any to tell you I'm carrying your child," she tried smiling at the thought but her tears streamed down and dripped onto their hands.  
  
Miroku smiled, "I'm... glad... Sango... I love you." He closed his eyes and his grip on her hand faded. Sango crawled and sat next to him, shaking as with anger and sadness that he had left her to raise this kid on her own. Her tears seemed never to cease. She had never felt so guilty in her life; as far as she was concered, Miroku's death was her fault.  
  
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Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day...  
  
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A/N: Awwww, I'm sad now. ::Tears up:: I'm sorry, I didn't want to kill him, really. Maybe I'll bring him back... somehow. But for now, the next chapter will be about Sango raising the kid by herself. The more reviews I get the quicker I'll update! 


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